While we're on the subject...

I'm not going to pretend that this post isn't a placeholder of sorts...I had hoped to be updating more often, and still plan to, but I bit off a lot last week (as you can see from the previous post), and frankly I'm still masticating on that one. The fact that said action rhymes with "procrastinating" should be regarded as a coincidence and nothing more.

I also can't deny that religion has been on the brain a bit lately. And it seems to me that no matter how much I protest, the audience is going to surmise that one is preoccupied. Honestly, it never has been a big part of my life since I came of age and called into question the things I had been taught, which also were beliefs that my parents appeared to be taking for granted and not overtly passionate about. Sure enough, when I revealed to my father that I simply wasn't interested in taking any more religious classes (I was just entering high school at the time) or attending any communal services, he didn't put up any kind of noticeable fight. At the time he was busy taking care of (and worrying about) my increasingly sick mother, so I imagine retaining me as one of god's warriors wasn't too high on his priority list. Perhaps his own beliefs had been called into question and he didn't feel hypocritical enough to ask me to reconsider.

At any rate, I am eternally thankful for his understanding and/or lack of energy, and not in the way that I'm thankful I was indulged as a child, which has certainly turned out to be more of a double-edged sword. It was the first step towards exploring many of my preconceived notions, and forming my own set of beliefs, which I hope have become more flexible as I've grown older. A favorite quote of mine is one from TImothy Leary: "You're only as young as the last time you changed your mind." That's something I always try to keep in mind when I find myself growing intolerant of certain things. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to be a born-again christian next week; it's about being open and available to anything that might come down the pike.

So despite my aversion in my adult life to any kind of dogmatic system I've found myself reading a lot of literature lately that deals with people's beliefs, the way that people act on them (or fail to), and how it shapes their lives. A few in particular are Philip K. Dick's The Transmigration of Timothy Archer, and Robertson Davies' Deptford Trilogy (as of this date the first two installments, Fifth Business and The Manticore). You would be hard-pressed to find a subject that illuminates the human condition as well as this one, and it never ceases to be fascinating regardless of how much of it you think is hogwash or a crutch for self-actualization.

In closing, I'd like to share with you a piece that I wrote a few years ago, which isn't from any particular well of inspiration save for the fact that I needed new material for an open mic I was performing at that evening. You will note that this work references both christianity and communist China, the idea being that these are both institutions which have strayed from their original, pure intentions, and how much so is in the eye of the beholder.

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THE FLOWER AND THE GLORY

oh when the saints come parched and thin
there's a canteen sip for each sun-baked sin;
all good things must come to a bend,
the hump on the back of the camel skin

she mumbles out the feather-pen writ
cabalist incantations,
nothing more tragic than misspelled magic;
the croak of desperate desert vespers

she takes the paperwhites outside
to overdose on natural light
like incinerated astronauts
in welcome home atmosphere,
ashen scent on the breeze

she snaps a malade stalk
and thinks of Youth in Asia;
tanks for nothing--
scars on the stars in the city square;
root out the rats and their last caveats,
the hammer and sickly banner

all year-plans rolled up and stored away;
varied degrees of internal decay
betray a hemisphere of flying
in the falter of marches and churches;
the withered remains of growing pains--
deaf throes of the flower and the glory.

***